😎 Donning sunglasses & abandoning plesantries …

Moving through the world as the woman I am (a brassy, openly queer survivor of abuse) there is an expectation for me to make others comfortable: to create harmony in moments of awkwardness around the ways I am different. My primary tools for handling this are humor and/or burying myself under a hoodie when I’m not in the mood. I hear these mixed messages; both that my experience is too nuanced to really matter, and that my existence is potent and unruly in a way that justifies scrutiny and must be controlled.

The first time I heard the term “being perceived” I knew exactly what it meant. The anxiety-laden feeling of being “taken in” when interacting with others. Though technically a neutral term, the 20-somethings I know translate it as “being judged” more than “being witnessed”. Often wordless, it could show up as a pressure to conform, inspection of one’s presentation, or an expectation to engage when you don’t want to. I’m grateful to Gen Z for naming the many invisible burdens cast on folks who are marginalized, sensitive, or just a bit different.

I’m reminded of this as anti-trans bills emerge across the majority of the US. The prevalence of anti-trans hate speech and lack of basic rights like housing and job protection effectively tell the trans community that their lives do not matter, while also contending that “transness” is a dangerous contagion that must be stopped. But criminalizing gender expansion is not going to make this world a safer place.

From my vantage point, this obsession with demonizing trans people is a dumping ground for fear of change and being left behind.  For those promoting these bills I want to ask; what is coming up for YOU when you are “being perceived”? History has shown the limitation of human rights based on identity to be a very dangerous proposition.